Who is Beaver Canuck?

It's not clear where Beaver Canuck came from - except he keeps talking about 'Happy Forest' - but you can't find it on any map because the area he seems to be referring to is covered with tar sands development. I think that's why he's pissed.

What is known is that he came onto the scene a couple years ago strapped onto a bixi as some sort of tour guide, or something, for web videos filmed on a cheap cell phone. It didn't go well. But over the years more of his story has come out - in fits and starts. He's fixated with Stephen Harper, and blames him for destroying his home



Apocalypse Soon

It seems that his girl from back home may have been killed when the bipeds bulldozed Happy Forest for Tar Sand Development



Beavette in trouble

And it only got worse from there.

He's tried getting his message out in song



Pirogue or Prorogue

And he's uncovered a conspiracy or two little known to the general public.



Prorogues

And has had a thing or two to say about Stephen Harper' tastes in music - especially Nickleback which he resents because HE owns the nickle


Taking the Nickleback

Between frustration with the #cpc conservative party of Canada's relentless bullying and name calling he's tried to educate about basic political science:



If I'm a commie you're a Nazi



A Democracy refresher for Stephen Harper

Ecology...



Ecosystem services explained so even Stephen Harper can understand

History...



Peter Mackay Needs Wikipedia or a Book

Child psychology



Developmental immaturity so even Conservatives can understand it

General asshattery (see Jason Kenney's career - all of it)


Jason Kenney Starts a petition to thank himself

Which landed him on Canada's most wanted list



Wanted! The Beaver ends up on Canada's Wanted War Criminals list

…

and a bunch of other stuff like trying to make *lite* of the whole situation



Beaver Canuck tells Stephen Harper jokes

But all in all it's given him some anxiety issues, and he's sought professional help.


A Beaver Writes to his psychiatrist about Stephen Harper

Beaver Canuck wants YOU to stand up for what you believe in

PRESS RELEASE: From the Happy Forest Protection League spokesperson Beaver Canuck:

"There comes a time when everyone has to stand up for what they believe in. With environmental degradation, climate change, unsustainable industrial development and overpopulation bearing down on a finite planet, this Beaver has had enough. That, and tar sands development destroyed my home, Happy Forest, and separated me from my girl, Beavette - heck, I don't even know if she's alive or dead.

I am Beaver Canuck, and I'm on a mission. To educate, to politicize, to motivate all Canadians to stand up for a better future. A future where prosperity isn't built on short term opportunism and destructive resource exploitation. A future where we leave the world a better place than how we found it. A future where I get my revenge on Stephen Harper for destroying Happy Forest!! And find Beavette! Sorry, sometimes my emotions run away from me.

Your responsibility is to help me make this happen."

He asks you to SUBSCRIBE here.

Golf - Whiskey - Tango are Oscar Miked

There's a point where it's all triage, where its all sandbagging against entropy. You know - like “is it really wise to unload the dishwasher while x is throttling y?” I mean, sometimes...

I'll either die from a massive coronary, stroke out and drool for the next forty, or look back on these days fondly. Kind of the way some vets talk about combat as the best moments of their lives. There's something about the lack of choices - of the sheer need to survive, that's liberating. I mean, I'm a details guy by trade, but on the day to day, I'm probably already sweating inappropriately without them.

So you run from foxhole to foxhole...shits getting hairy? We’ll go outside...backyard too small for three of them? Well maybe it's time for the library...I'd like to say I plan, but only about the 275 of you who don't really know me will buy that...actually I can't even claim that crown of flying by the seat of my pants anymore. Both today and yesterday I worked a plan - that's how bad parenting changes a fellow. Didn't dodge all the shit, but wasn’t hosing it off the walls.

I often think of the brain teaser of trying to get the wolf, the goat and the turnip - whiskey, golf, tango - across the river in a canoe that can only carry the paddler plus one. You leave the goat and the wolf - bye bye goat...you leave the goat and the turnip, well, you get the picture.

So you take the goat across...
Come back for the wolf.

Grab the goat back before Wolfie gets ’em

Then turnip travels

And finally, goat.

We avoided any adelphophagy - (had to google that shit)

And landed without rug burn. Might not of wanted to blow a breathalyzer, but sue me.

The Quest for Online Attention

Why you must never write E_ra L_ev_nt's name online but why you should definitely subscribe to the Beaver and favorite and like everything he's associated with.

In our celebrity obsessed culture fame or at least notoriety is often enough to make an income. The age of search engine optimization, where you deploy online content in a way that the automatic search 'bots of google and its competitors deem your material relevant to one or several search queries, is upon us and allows a small subset of the community of people posting material online to earn money by drawing attention to their content.

Either through advertising, merchandising, selling access to 'premium content' or whatever, this attention seeking behaviour has become a business model, not unlike 'becoming a rock star' or 'the next Andy Warhol' has led many an aspirant to eschew more traditional routes to renumeration.
The real people making money of course are the distributors - the you tubes and googles (same company) who facilitate the dream of being the next online sensation by offering a venue to host people's content for free (well it's not free because it took you time to make it and post it), and even provide kindly advice on how to make your stuff better (see You Tube Partners) all the while selling advertising around your content and keeping the bulk, if not all of the revenue.

It's a bit like during the gold rush where some people struck it rich, but where the hardware stores, banks and railroads made the real killing because in order to pursue the gold, you needed the supplies and infrastructure. Anyone who has ever taken an acting class, paid for a headshot or paid to play a rock show knows how this works -- the dreamers pay, the schemers earn. Perhaps that is as it should be. The dreamers I know aren't interested in scheming, much as they wouldn't mind a bit more money, and the schemers, looking for an angle, do actually provide platforms for the few dreamers who break through to achieve their goals, as well as fostering a lot of innovation for the toiling masses who get to pursue their dreams of glory, even if they're only likes and subscribers are immediate friends, families, and that drunk guy who's phone you scammed at the bar and subscribed to your entire online oeuvre.

Where I am going with this? Well, I'm a dreamer - so subscribe to the Beaver, follow him on twitter Follow @BeaverCanuck
and never, and I mean never, mention E_ra L_v_nt online anywhere because if you give HIM attention, it's like watering a dandelion. Just don't do it.

The left/right divide

We're all so blindsided by our ideological predispositions we don't even listen when "the other side" has better ideas. Or when our ideas are complete nonsense.

Conservatives Don't Muzzle Scientists

...but they've picked up this trick from "Game of Thrones"

Yawnarchy

Why the sheep don't throw off their psychopathic overlords. They're tired.

C38 and Harper's "Not so hidden" Agenda

Renewable Energy - Harper Style