Rose tinted glasses

Many times, when the bullets are flying, I try and make a joke or otherwise 'keep it light'. I am either a world class diplomat, or Chamberlain - appeasing rather than confronting, avoiding unpleasantness rather than dealing with problems head on.

Perhaps in order to protect my self, I'm constantly telling myself stories how things are ok, or, if we are hurtling off a cliff to certain doom, we are at least trying to plant an ice pick in the cornice - at least struggling to survive.

And I know how fucking annoying optimists - or, worse, people feigning optimism, can be.

But does it help?

I think it does. I think it can amount to cognitive behavioural therapy - that active optimism is at least partially an intentional stance where no matter what the data, you look for a positive interpretation. I think for me it's necessary - if not sufficient. Because I've crept close to the edge of the cliff and taken a peek at the Abyss. I've had mild experience with the Fear and depression - and from what I know about neural plasticity - how the things our brains experience repeatedly or practice changes our neural pathways, resisting negativity can actually change how you see the world.

And how you see the world pretty much determines the types of choices you make.

I don't claim to make the best choices. I read a very interesting post (link) recently how procrastination is essentially a neurotic hangup where the fear of failure creates reward pathways for any and all activities that avoid the risk of failure - like never finishing anything that could be judged harshly. And I think that's a 'choice' I make too often.

But what I do think is that with a little objectivity and detachment we can change. And that cultivating optimism and gratitude gives us enough of a tactical advantage - enough serotonin or dopamine or whatever, to actually have the courage to attempt harder things, that wallowing in negativity would not.

So has it given me enough chutzpah to light the world on fire? Well, global warming may yet take care of that.

And while we're all hurtling somewhere - we're not dead yet, and that makes me hopeful.