Who is Beaver Canuck?

It's not clear where Beaver Canuck came from - except he keeps talking about 'Happy Forest' - but you can't find it on any map because the area he seems to be referring to is covered with tar sands development. I think that's why he's pissed.

What is known is that he came onto the scene a couple years ago strapped onto a bixi as some sort of tour guide, or something, for web videos filmed on a cheap cell phone. It didn't go well. But over the years more of his story has come out - in fits and starts. He's fixated with Stephen Harper, and blames him for destroying his home



Apocalypse Soon

It seems that his girl from back home may have been killed when the bipeds bulldozed Happy Forest for Tar Sand Development



Beavette in trouble

And it only got worse from there.

He's tried getting his message out in song



Pirogue or Prorogue

And he's uncovered a conspiracy or two little known to the general public.



Prorogues

And has had a thing or two to say about Stephen Harper' tastes in music - especially Nickleback which he resents because HE owns the nickle


Taking the Nickleback

Between frustration with the #cpc conservative party of Canada's relentless bullying and name calling he's tried to educate about basic political science:



If I'm a commie you're a Nazi



A Democracy refresher for Stephen Harper

Ecology...



Ecosystem services explained so even Stephen Harper can understand

History...



Peter Mackay Needs Wikipedia or a Book

Child psychology



Developmental immaturity so even Conservatives can understand it

General asshattery (see Jason Kenney's career - all of it)


Jason Kenney Starts a petition to thank himself

Which landed him on Canada's most wanted list



Wanted! The Beaver ends up on Canada's Wanted War Criminals list

…

and a bunch of other stuff like trying to make *lite* of the whole situation



Beaver Canuck tells Stephen Harper jokes

But all in all it's given him some anxiety issues, and he's sought professional help.


A Beaver Writes to his psychiatrist about Stephen Harper

Stephen Harper's Ode to Science

Shall I compare thee to a slimy toad?
Who deals with scandal by throwing bodies on the road?
Tying science funding to profitability is like legislating that poems have to rhyme…you won't discover insulin, but you will produce a lot of dog shit. Wait a second - maybe that's how they invented Nickleback.



That's not how discovery works - but Stephen Harper hates science. He has no interest in confirming what he already knows - that he's an awful lonely man desperately clinging to evil as the only thing he's good at…

It doesn't let you discover insulin, free radicals, the Ricker curve, weather forecasting, plate tectonics, t cell receptors, the geometry of higher dimensions but whatever. It appeals to his base who think innovation works that way and it subsidizes his industrial cronies. Well played, french shower bag...


http://www.science.ca/askascientist/topachievements.php

Beaver Canuck tells Stephen Harper jokes

why did the Harper conservative cross the road?
Because Stephen Harper needed a body to throw under a bus.

-----

Knock knock

Who's there

Stephen?

Stephen who?

you know, the asshole…

-------


How many Harper conservatives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Are you kidding? Harper conservatives reproduce by spreading lies on a rich bed of bullshit.

----
what do you get when you cross a Harper conservative like dean del mastro and an ethics committee?

an empty seat…for months



-----
pop quiz -
Canadian tax dollars should fund
a) a strong stable conservative majority direct mailing attack ads to Canadians
b) a rub and tug for Stephen Harper to take the edge off his self loathing

-----
Pop Quiz:
The Canadian economy needs:

a) support for Canadian scientists to help inform evidence based public policy and innovation

b) partisan austerity measures, ineffective pro punishment law and order tom foolery, economic action plan boon doggles, and unaccounted for billions?

c) a rub and tug for Stephen Harper to tone down his self-loathing?

Harper trying to destroy the CBC

Because he can't get his stupid factory, Sun News, taxpayer funded...yet.

Jason Kenney Do the Right Thing

Jason Kenney - will you do the right think and keep the Wilkie Family together?

A Canadian and his three Canadian children should not be separated from their mother - how is it that under your government a woman like this is arrested, kept separated from her family, and is due to be shipped back to Egypt?

Unless there is some part of this story we don't know about - and, uh, transparency? it seems a clear situation where something needs to be done to prevent this travesty.

Get to it!




I know you've had your disagreements with the Beaver in the past, and after he insulted you for your vanity petition...




You put him on Canada's most wanted war criminals list...




And he was a little miffed that you didn't send him a creepy letter explaining how the #cpc was doing such a great job for "chewers" and other lifestyles...




But don't worry about all that. As I'm sure some of your cpc briefing notes on "heathen and other needed but unsavoury cultures told you" there's a belief that the good of one moment can undo the evil of a thousand years.

So do some good...this moment...keep the Wilkie family together.

Harper's values mean he must destroy the ELA

Come on people. We haven't just met Harper. Think about his values. The people who work at the ELA and the people who support their research - ethical Canadians looking for evidence based best practices - are Harper’s enemies. The kinds of people who made him feel bad in high school for lacking a moral centre.

He wants to destroy us. We’d never vote for him and most of us are actively trying to oppose him.
He knows anything the ELA produces is going to say that he's an asshole. Polluting, inefficient, unequitable...
His base are the people who oppose gay marriage. The terrified little worms who are so unworthy of existing that they have to poor hate and scorn on everyone else. Like Harper.
So no appeal to reason is going to save the ELA. Only force. An injunction, a bunch of academics chaining themselves to sample buckets or buildings...a direct political challenge.
Stephen Harper. Admit it. You're destroying the ELA because you fear it. Fear the truth it might tell you, about what kind of man you really are. A bad one.

The Harpocrats #cpc #fraudparty Link Page Updated April 14

April 14

Oil spills in Manitoba




April 12

Joe Oliver casting 'doubts' on Climate science, and well, hell, just not reading anything that might contradict full CO2 ahead development of the tarsands


Follow Beaver Canuck on You Tube




April 3
Thomas homer Dixon on tar sands disaster


April 1, 2013






Kevin Page on the importance of the Parliamentary Budget Officer


Information commissioner to investigate muzzling of scientists

The Star - on info commissioner investigation



March 27, 2013
Conservatives accused of trying to bury climate data



March 26

Jay Hill, former Harper cabinet minister broke conflict of interest guidelines

Cpc backbenchers chafing under Harper?




March 25
Librarians against being muzzled


March 22
Flanagan's last stand?



Chantal Hebert on how conservative gambling on resources may hurt them in 2015

March 19, 2013
Closing of ELA and PEARL research station sends message Harpermgovt not serious about environment


March 18, 2013

Experimental Lakes Area decommissioning underway? Because, you know, saving $2 million a year will really pay off after the 25 years it will take to recoup the $50 mill decom costs...

Vic Toews trying to turn border security into a version of the Hunger Games


Former Parliamentary Budget Officer claims he was 'intimidated' by Senior Harper govie officials

Conservative scandals could overshadow budget


55th in the world for access to information (news story)


Penashue corporate donation

Macleans recap on carbon pricing


Stephen Harper on pricing carbon



The firewallers
There's never judge a book by its cover but...comeon...



Wallins expenses


Duncan quits

The Wheels on the Conservative Bus Ran over Tom Flanagan

Well at least that didn't take long. The Conservatives finally ditch Tom Flanagan for, well, being Tom Flanagan...




But it's not like he just became Tom Flanagan today...this is your Conservative Party of Canada...not all evil, but certainly rotten at the top.

Tom Flanagan seems to support people's "right" to consume child pornography

While this has been a great week for seeing Stephen Harper's conservatives true colours (Senators, Porter, etc. links to follow) - essentially petty little hustlers desperately trying to dress up greed as some ideological higher calling...(“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”
― John Kenneth Galbraith) there's darker stuff behind or beneath it all.

Tom Flanagan, Harper's so called ideological mentor and an incredible asshat in his own right, is so wrapped up in himself and what passes for a 'philosophy' of personal liberty etc. that he just seems incapable of realizing that child pornography IS child abuse. (and I'm talking about actual photos etc here, not drawings etc.)

Now whether eventually something entirely dark comes out about Flanagan personally, or as I guess I hope he's just stupid - that he really believes that his ideas concerning personal liberty excuse consumers of child porn from responsibility for child porn production, who knows? But here is the thing.

You have conservatives calling for mandatory minimums and all sorts of tough on crime initiatives for drug dealers and consumers etc, but then 'I'm not sure we should be putting people in prison because of the pictures they're looking at'.

I hope I'm missing some subtlety here - but I kind of doubt it. I think these conservatives (not all conservatives because there are plenty of excellent conservative ideas) THESE conservatives, are venal, selfish idiots - gusting close if not four sails to the wind of being evil.

Here you go...

Do conservatives just not care?

Compassionate conservatism - what does that mean? Wearing gloves to keep the blood off when they kick you to the curb?

Here is the thing - some people, you, the conservatives - feel that everyone should look after themselves. Perhaps you weren't cuddled, perhaps its genetic - who cares why? It's just an awful lonely way to live. We get it, we're not going to change you, but we're also not going to let you lower the tone for the rest of us, who, guess what? Actually enjoy helping each other. Actually find life better when others share our good fortune.

I know I know, I might as well write that in Sanskrit - it's not registering.

But here's the thing. And we know this happens because of, well, history books. You fought, cheated and stole your way to power. In your world view the ends justify the means, and you're actually proud of being so "bold" - so manly as the incredibly stupid Tom Flanagan might say when calling for an extrajudicial assassination of someone like Julian Assange.

When you get caught you kind of smirk - shoulder deep into the cookie jaw you're kind of proud you 'took the chance' or 'seized the day' - kind of proud your goals are so awesome that the rules just don't apply.

It's not going to last. The thing is life is short and the incredible selfishness and fear of others that defines your worldview is just not worth a sweet goddamn. So leave the public sphere to people who give a shit. Go and build a compound, or a gated community, or whatever. Go away - leave us much less selfish people alone. You will never know how to trust, you are probably basically incapable of love, you're scared of the world probably because you feel the world is like you are, and, well, 50% of it probably is.

So crawl under a rock - weep, if you are capable, as those of us who enjoy life, enjoy the challenges of building collectively, go about our lives.

Or we'll make you. Make no mistake, like the Allies that trounced fascism, democrats and liberals may try and avoid a confrontation - because, hell, we know how to do the work to get along - but if you don't, if you push us too far. We'll stop you.

Tom Flanagan, asshat

Autonomy Now - or is The Do it Yourself open source revolution a road to sovereignty?

On Christmas Eve, while Theresa Spence went hungry, I lay awake worrying and wondering.

I eventually reached a sort of self justificatory epiphany. First Nations could achieve de facto sovereignty through the revolution in manufacturing technology. (As if anything is easy, but whatever)

(See Wired articles on DIY

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/01/ff_newrevolution/
http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/03/ff_adafruit/


Foreign Affairs article "how to make just about anything"

(http://www.foreignaffairs.com/articles/138154/neil-gershenfeld/how-to-make-almost-anything)

The idea was to help setup or at least share some links, so every community could open a Fab Lab - fabrication laboratory - that includes computer controlled milling machines (think your own ikea), 3d printers, cnc machines - computer numerical control
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Numerical_control) and a couple others...

The open source “revolution” means that more and more designs for more and more useful objects are freely available and groups like Open Source Ecology
(http://opensourceecology.org/) have set themselves the mission of designing, building, and then sharing the blueprints for the 50 machines necessary for a modern industrial civilization. Their goal is to entirely revolutionize the current economic model by freely distributing the knowledge necessary for anyone to create an autonomous industrial community.

Another incredible organization is the Appropriate Infrastructure Development Group
(http://www.aidg.org/) who works in places like Haiti and Guatemala as a business incubator in “the arenas of energy, water and sanitation”

One of the grand daddies of what I see as cause for hope for the future is the Rocky Mountain Research institute (http://www.rmi.org/) where Amory Lovins has been leading practical research into solutions to many of the problems facing industrial society for decades. Their latest book “Reinventing Fire” (http://www.rmi.org/ReinventingFire) lays out the business case for heading to a low carbon future and the estimated $5 TRILLION savings it could unleash.

So there. Links ... Today's substitute for action...but I needed to get them out there. Read a great self-helpy list the other day “12 things successful people do differently” (http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/01/22/12-things-successful-people-do-differently/) that said “acquiring knowledge isn't growth - acting on it is” - which I've felt is a weak spot for me.

So, until I can actually say I've acted on these ideas, there's the link sharing.

Shooting the Censor

The Case against my inner censor took years to build, and while the sentiment of the court in the end was clear for all to hear - "shoot the bastard! up against the wall!" the spin out from his execution has yet to resolve itself. While the Censor may have been shot square in the face, it is still somewhat unclear whether another, perhaps more powerful one has taken his place, or if the bureaucracy of my bullshit is such that I continue to avoid the point of all this out of habit, if less out of raw fear.

Better a bad artist than a loser. Because while some bad artist's may be losers, it is far less likely that most losers can even lay claim to being bad artists.

The snob's dilemma, the argument from fear, all the excuses in the world for self-censorship are painful to work through - to be discarded quickly if you can - and maybe it's just a lifetime of inadequate testosterone? Lacking the balls to just take the risk of looking stupid. Because by all accounts more than a few people seem to live what for them appear to be relatively adequate lives while radiating, no, sometimes indeed, glorying in their stupidity. Take the conservatives, just to grab a group out of the air.

So the puppet's back - and I've started singing. And sweet Jay Z H Christ, it's got some room to, erm, mature. But the song I recorded yesterday sounds way better than the one from last week - and I like to believe it's really quite ridiculous. And that's kind of the point isn't it? All of this life is quite ridiculous. We get pushed or carved out of our moms, we spin around the sun for awhile, and then we die. More often than not really fucking terribly. So am I happy to have recorded a version of the Ballad of Happy Forest, where the Beaver and Beavette sing about their love for each other and the righteousness of diverting small waterways? All the while knowing that the bulldozers of the Evil Doer Stephen Harper are about to descend upon their boreal idyll destroying it forever? Separating Beaver from a now visibly pregnant Beavette, who for all he knows is dead with so many other of the forest animals? Yup.

Nonsense, glorious nonsense, and it would be funny if it wasn't actually so serious, and well, if it was written a little better and someone sent me a voice coach, or, well, sang it for me. But what's the fun of that?

Why I will be voting for Fozzy Bear

Years ago I saw Jean Charest on a Mark Labreche talk show. He rode some kind of roller coaster onto the set and then proceeded to be funny and smart for the length of the segment.

What can I say? I liked him, and, given the state of Quebec politics today, I still like him.

Is their corruption in politics? How could there not be? Wherever there are humans there's corruption, and politics, the arena of what passes for public power, naturally attracts its share of opportunists and psychopaths.

But do I for one minute think Pauline Marois would be a better premier than Jean Charest? No. Pauline Marois for me radiates a nasty smugness I find viscerally revolting.

Does it help that she's rich, yet pretends to be of the people and for the people? No. Does it help that she leads the Parti Quebecois, which, I'm sorry to say represents for me as an anglophone the party of xenophobia and cultural insecurity, which is about 10 million miles away from the francophones I know, and partly because of whom I've made Quebec my home and the home of my children?

So do I think the Liberals are blameless, or above reproach? No. But I see voting for anyone who will split the vote in favour of the PQ as way more dangerous than another Liberal government.

Developmental immaturity and the case of Omar Khadr

I am not a lawyer nor have I read all of the details of Omar Khadr's case and the legal avenues that have been pursued to allow him to come back to Canada.

What I have witnessed are the banal exchanges on Twitter where generally Conservative pundits and just plain idiots proclaim how he is an Evil Terrorist, chomping at the bit to murder more people, totally responsible for his purported crimes etc. etc.

None of these people seem to hold the fact that he was 15 years old at the time of the incident as particularly germane.

But, the brain of a 15 year old is different from that of an adult, and whether the conservatives like it or not, that should be taken into consideration.

Taking the Nickleback

Pursuant to the rather undignified quest of seeking online attention, here is a video denouncing Nickleback for supporting Stephen Harper.



It's really just an experiment in gaming the You Tube search engine - parasitizing a popular band to drive views to the Beaver.

I don't actually care much one way or the other about Nickleback - the little I've heard doesn't do anything for me - maybe I'm too old, or grew up on Zeppelin etc. I'm just looking to see if it draws attention to the site.

My inner Kardashian I suppose. The problem then would be - the Beaver stuff would have to actually be a lot stronger to hold any attention. That's a problem for another day.

The Quest for Online Attention

Why you must never write E_ra L_ev_nt's name online but why you should definitely subscribe to the Beaver and favorite and like everything he's associated with.

In our celebrity obsessed culture fame or at least notoriety is often enough to make an income. The age of search engine optimization, where you deploy online content in a way that the automatic search 'bots of google and its competitors deem your material relevant to one or several search queries, is upon us and allows a small subset of the community of people posting material online to earn money by drawing attention to their content.

Either through advertising, merchandising, selling access to 'premium content' or whatever, this attention seeking behaviour has become a business model, not unlike 'becoming a rock star' or 'the next Andy Warhol' has led many an aspirant to eschew more traditional routes to renumeration.
The real people making money of course are the distributors - the you tubes and googles (same company) who facilitate the dream of being the next online sensation by offering a venue to host people's content for free (well it's not free because it took you time to make it and post it), and even provide kindly advice on how to make your stuff better (see You Tube Partners) all the while selling advertising around your content and keeping the bulk, if not all of the revenue.

It's a bit like during the gold rush where some people struck it rich, but where the hardware stores, banks and railroads made the real killing because in order to pursue the gold, you needed the supplies and infrastructure. Anyone who has ever taken an acting class, paid for a headshot or paid to play a rock show knows how this works -- the dreamers pay, the schemers earn. Perhaps that is as it should be. The dreamers I know aren't interested in scheming, much as they wouldn't mind a bit more money, and the schemers, looking for an angle, do actually provide platforms for the few dreamers who break through to achieve their goals, as well as fostering a lot of innovation for the toiling masses who get to pursue their dreams of glory, even if they're only likes and subscribers are immediate friends, families, and that drunk guy who's phone you scammed at the bar and subscribed to your entire online oeuvre.

Where I am going with this? Well, I'm a dreamer - so subscribe to the Beaver, follow him on twitter Follow @BeaverCanuck
and never, and I mean never, mention E_ra L_v_nt online anywhere because if you give HIM attention, it's like watering a dandelion. Just don't do it.

Peter MacKay needs Wikipedia or a BOOK!...

What better way to get the Beaver's message out that Stephen Harper and his purse dogs are ass hats than to mock Nickleback for being friendly with him? I don't know, but please tell me if you do.

So there I am, kind of painfully editing the Beaver's first rap song - and the pain is more from working with pictures of Nickleback than the Beaver's questionable rhyming...and what comes across Twitter? Well that Peter MacKay, in order to suck up to the French Ambassador, gives a speech crediting the french with fighting alongside the British in the War of 1812


Now I'll have to school up on the history, I have fetched the little puppet Pierre Berton's The Invasion of Canada and Flames across the Border The Invasion of Canada: 1812-1813

to study up, but really...it's n'importe quoi with these fellows, oh, except apparently they ALL have to knit their butt hairs into toques for the obligatory asshats...

Getting wise(r) - sometimes you don't need to find your voice

One of the best parts of being a geezer is that a lot of the things that held you back when you were younger drop away. Like not putting out work because you're too embarrassed what other people are going to think.

As the years pile on you start to realize there's a million and one empty dharmas like this. A million and one excuses for not taking action - I know, I've made lists.

And then you stop caring. "Better a bad artist than a loser" Bruno said, and it's true. The best part of putting out work that's questionable or not ready? It IS embarrassing - and that discomfort is powerful. Because it means the next time you want to do better.

People have started saying "you have to embrace failure". And you do. Because there's no rational thought process that allows you to learn how to do something. The process is practice - not thinking about practice. So here's my questionable singing, with a song I didn't exactly over write. But it forced me to jerry rig (your honor can I take the jury rig option ?) a green screen and work through the process - learned a little garage band too along the way.

Happy with the product? That's beside the point. Eager for the next one to be better and having learnt way more than by bailing? Well, I think I'll be collecting on those lifesavers.

A little refresher on why democracy matters for Stephen Harper

Watch the Beaver, Rat and Bunny argue over tar sands development, have the discussion descend into violence, and then, through the wonders of discussion, debate and democracy, resolve their differences sufficiently to carry on.







------

Production notes:

This was filmed in one take on my iphone and YES I forgot to turn off the dehumidifier. I edited on my iPad, with assistance from the microvillain. That green tarp in the background *might* one day be used for green screen. If you'd like that, feel free to buy a tshirt or just send money.