Other people's problems

*dont read if depressed - read the post this links to instead. It's actually helpful*


I know the first thing about depression - maybe the first 7, but I don't know the next hundred. Or thousand. I'm around more depression than is good for me...

Now I'm not sure if that's true.

I was going to write ’I’m around more depression than is good for me, but my being around these people might be good for them’ - but that's pretty amazingly narcissistic, and doesn't necessarily capture the whole story.

And before this drones on, a great post you should read is 21 tips for holding your shit together when you’re depressed (link)

So other people's depressions have helped me recognize my own state of mental health and take it seriously (and I do feel lucky - lucky to generally be optimistic and basically never plumb anything deeper than melancholy and malaise). Other people's depressions have made me appreciate the tools I'm able to use - again, read the post, tools like diet, exercise, hair cuts, shoes, art, comedy, avoiding depressives, etc...and they've also hopefully given me a little more compassion. I know I've not been laid low like lots of people, and I really try to not “blame” them for being sick.

But I do sometimes. Despite knowing better.

I am one of those people who give advice though - sing the praises of exercise, diet, and a host of cognitive behavioural therapies. Even though I know how annoying advice can be - but life's a give and take.

The science is in that depression, like obesity and a host of other unpleasantries, is “contagious”. We can “bring down” those around us and conversely we can also “cheer them up” (citation needed). Probably why parents so instinctively worry about their kids socializing with the “right kind of people” - our paths are very dependent on initial conditions (take that meritocracy) and so the farther we travel along the greater the differences in outcomes based on those who travel with us.

Am I complaining? Sure, sometimes, but most of the depressives I know are my friends because they're incredibly creative. And like it or not I chose these people and this path - and freely continue to choose it. So my friends problems are my problems - and the question becomes are we drowning men and women, dragging each other down, or will we together rise above? Or will some people get jettisoned so the rest may live? Now that's dark, but that's life. There's only so much hope in a super fruit smoothie, and lots of people are not capable of cheering up.

So what does it become? Triage? Yup. And a constant interest in best practices. Again that post is so wonderful because its not written by some tit like me who gets “sad” and experiences “regret” but by a person who's learnt a thing or two in the trenches.

I wish my nearest and dearest could jog, could redefine surviving as victory. I wish they drank less beer and vodka and more smoothies, took better care of themselves and loved themselves better. But I still love them. And hope for the best for them. I don't know if they'll all “make it” - but they better. To puke out some more of their art before death wipes us away. Because, happy, sad, apathetic or euphoric, this is our moment.

This is it.